In Closing …

The Ma-Sheen March 9, 2011

Well, I think enough is enough. When will this Sheen thing be played out? I have to admit that I’m following him on Twitter and am ashamed to admit that I’ve watched “Sheen’s Korner” on UStream. At first I was entertained and then felt sorry for the guy, but now I think the public is being played by the actor he is.

It was easy to suck everyone in with a simple recipe. Just go on every major “news” show and act like you’ve lost your mind. Start to coin words and phrases like “WINNING”, “trolls” and “tiger blood.” I love that one by the way. Then hit everyone with a social media presence on Twitter and video streaming and build your brand as the next Howard Hughes or at least the next Mel Gibson, without the crazy racist comments.

Maybe I’m wrong and the guy really does has issues and the unfortunate opportunity to have them sensationalized by the public and the media. But I’m not buying it anymore. Just watch the crap he is putting on the Web. He is already repeating himself and is running out of incoherent babble.

It was a good run Charlie, but how long can this last? He acts like he is leading a revolution. If that’s what he wants to do, I hear Libya is looking for a new guy.

Please Stop the Lebron Madness May 25, 2010

So I’m officially sick of the “where is Lebron going?” story. Sure I’m still bitter over the collapse of the Cavs in the playoffs. But I also respect the fact that the Celtics are playing great basketball right now. The Cavs played very average basketball. And they gave up at the end. I wasn’t impressed to say the least.

But now I’m even less impressed with the Lebron situation. July can’t come fast enough if you are a Cleveland sports fan. Let’s just get it over with. If he goes, it’s not for the money as no one can pay him what the Cavs can. It’s for the fame or whatever a “bigger market” can bring. He like the attention, that’s for sure. 

I don’t have much more to say about this besides let’s get on with it. I know Lebron says that regardless of what happens, Akron and Cleveland will always be his home and he’ll always come back here. I just hope he knows what he’ll be dealing with if he leaves. Northeast Ohio sports fans will not be forgiving  when he comes back home. The Q may sell out when he returns, but it won’t be to sing his praises.

Don’t Tase Him … Wait, Go Ahead. May 5, 2010

So if any of you are like me, you get your daily dose of SportsCenter or ESPN News along with your cup of coffee every day. It’s ridiculous but the bottom line is I enjoy listening to or watching sports over the real world. Anyway, the latest sport controversy finally doesn’t involve a sex scandal. It does involve a taser.

For those who haven’t turned on a TV over the past 24 hours, some idiot at a Phillies game ran out onto the field during the game. This isn’t exactly the first time this has happened but usually it ends with a player or a security guard tackling the drunken idiot who thought it would be a good idea to trot through the outfield. (For those good Steelers fans out there, you’ll remember that before James Harrison was a Super Bowl hero and defensive MVP, his claim to fame was bodyslamming a drunken Browns fan who ran on the field a couple of years back.) Anyway, last night’s incident ended with the moron getting hit with a taser by the field’s security crew. And some people are outraged.

I am not one of those people. I have been to a number of pro baseball, basketball and football games in my life. And you know how many times I’ve been tased? None. I know, amazing. Here’s a tip. If you don’t want bad things to happen to you like getting hit with a taser, don’t be a jackass and run on the field. People paid good money to watch overpaid athletes play a game they love. They didn’t pay to watch you lose control of your functions due to an electric jolt.

I’m sorry but I have no sympathy for this guy. Call me old school, but if you do the crime you do the time. Your actions result in consequences. And when your action is to run onto a field during any game where you aren’t a player or a referee, most of the time, the results aren’t going to good.

And for those out there who say, “oh he was harmless,” tell that to Monica Seles back in the day when somebody stabbed her during a match or the White Sox base coach who got jumped by the two drunks a couple of years ago. The bottom line is we must think the worst of people in these situations as you just don’t know the intentions of an idiot who runs on a field. If you don’t want the crap beat out of you or lit up like a Christmas tree then just drink your beer and yell at the umps from the safety of the bleachers.

So that’s it folks. The equation is simple. Stay in seat = enjoy game. Run on field = get what you deserve.

Snow Mowing April 20, 2010

Yes you read that correctly. This past Saturday the Ohio weather took a big bite out of my butt and started snowing on me in the middle of my frigid mowing job. I felt the need to do something productive after lumbering on the couch watching “Paul Blart, Mall Cop” or something like that. No, I’m not proud of it  but I’m all about being transparent. It was on Starz and I had never seen it. Leave me alone.

Anyway, I had no idea that after two stripes of mowing that I’d get hit with snow flurries. It wasn’t much, but enough to see it smacking me in the face as my neighbors pointed at me through their windows. To make matters worse, we recently had one of those underground dog fences put in so I had to stop every 30 seconds or so to take a training flag out of the yard and then replace it. All told, it really wasn’t that cold, so I’ll stop my whining.

As for that dog fence, I still plan to put the collar on my arm and go through a few times. I may need a few drinks before I do it, but I promised my dog if he could do it, I could do it.  He actually learned the boundaries in a couple of days and now bounds through the yard with reckless abandon. He loves being able to run and knows his limits. The wiener dog across the way also knows them as he walks along the other side of the flags mocking my poor puppy who just wants to wrestle and play. The dachshund is 13 years old so he’s not real thrilled when my puppy “plays” with him. Either way, the dog’s happier now as he can run around the house instead of being tied to a leash. I feel better now about it too … but I’m still going to take a zap or two myself. It’s the principle of it. I’ve already talked to others who have done it by accident and lived. In fact the poor kid that was putting in the flags got zapped as he was putting them in. Maybe I’ll tape it and make my first YouTube submission … or maybe you’ll never hear from me again.

Only in Vegas April 12, 2010

Well, my wife and I spent most of last week in Las Vegas and I have to say we had a great time. The weather was OK by Vegas standards as it hovered in the high 60s most of the time we were there. Of course it was 80 back in Ohio … go figure. Oh well, it was a good temp for walking which we did plenty of over the four days. Anyway, I’d like to share some of the funnier things I heard or saw while in Sin City. Here goes:

•  Best quote: “For what? I can breathe for free.” Said by my wife after seeing her first “oxygen bar.” Yes, only in America can we figure out how to charge for air. My wife’s comment was not well received by the young lady dishing out the air cocktails.
• Best job: Girly card slapper passer out guys: If you’ve been there you know exactly what I’m talking about. For those who haven’t, you basically can’t walk five feet without someone snapping a card of a topless gal at you. Most of these gentlemen are garnering T-shirts that read “Girls Direct to You in Minutes.” I tried to collect them like baseball cards. I only needed Bambi to complete my set. Just kidding. 
•  Best utility: Electricity. Seriously, they are lucky the Hoover Dam is out there. There have to be tons of people who just work to replace bulbs out there.
• Worst bet: Duke to cover in the national championship. I’m officially 0 for 1 in sports gambling.
• Second worst bet: Butler to win. As I was crying over my loss at a slot machine, another gentleman came up shaking his head. I asked if he bet on Duke. He said no. I said, “good for you.” He replied, “yeah, but I didn’t bet for Butler to cover the spread. I went for the bigger payoff with the win.” Missed it by that much …
• And finally, best show: “O”. I have to admit, my wife has convinced me that these Cirque shows are cool. But O was amazing. It was like Olympic diving to music. Of course some of the characters still creeped me out, but hey, you expect that. My runner up for entertainment was the water show at Bellagio. Those fountains really know how to dance.

So that’s it folks, we had a blast. We aren’t big gamblers, so going to the pool, walking around people watching and seeing shows was fun for us. Three nights of it was plenty though. I’d definitely go back for fun … but I’ll never bet on Duke again, EVER!

Encore “Action” Rules April 2, 2010

So I just can’t help myself. While channel surfing tonight I came across “Encore Action”, one of the movie channels we get with our new subscription to DirectTV (which I love by the way.) Anyway, thanks to the fine people who figure out the programming for this channel I just watched Rocky peel himself off the mat in the 15th round to take the title from Apollo. Yes, I’ve seen Rocky II more than 100 times, but I have to watch it.

Just when I thought I’d get back to my surfing I realized that they are following Rocky II with Rocky III and IV. That totally rules. I just completed watching Rocky dispose of opponents with names like “Big Yank”. Now he’s about to take on Thunder Lips (Hulk Hogan) for charity. So I’m in for the rest of Rocky’s struggles with Mr. T over the next 90 minutes. We’ll have to see if I can hang in there to see how he single handedly will end the Cold War after his victory over Ivan Drago later tonight in Rocky IV.  

I have to love my wife as she is just sitting here watching with me. Yes, I own all of the Rocky movies on DVD but it’s just one of those things. A buddy of mine says he does the same thing when he comes across The Shawshank Redemption when it is running on TNT … which used to be about every week. He just has to watch.

Anyway, if you happen to come across this post tonight, and you get Encore, check it out. After I finished Rocky II, I started throwing shadow punches at the dog while dancing around in the living room. He subsequently started sprinting around the house and barking at me while I fired jabs in his direction. My wife just shook her head and smiled. Damn, I love Encore.

Blogging from 36,000 feet March 25, 2010

Thanks to the fine people at AMEX and AirTran I’m enjoying free WIFI on my flight home from the ATL. I had a great business trip but I’m ready to get home. I miss my wife and I miss my dog. I never thought I’d miss an animal on a business trip, but I’m guilty. I’m sure when I get home he will give me the hero’s welcome that he always does. Hell, when I go out to work in the yard and come back in 30 minutes later he jumps on me like we just won the Super Bowl. So I’m looking forward to that. I’m sure my wife will give me a nice hug and kiss too…

Since this is a short trip, we are getting to land already, which means I’m about to lose my WIFI wonder. I’ll be back soon … right after I get that Super Bowl celebration done with the dog. The cat now just stares at both of us and thinks, “dumb asses.” She just doesn’t understand. Talk to you all later…

Wow, Naps are Nice. March 19, 2010

So I took today off from work to watch basketball all day … and it has been awesome. I slipped in and out of consciousness for about two hours while glancing every so often at the scores to see how my brackets have been further decimated. Usually that would bother me, but these nap things are great. I woke up at 3:30 p.m. and felt like a new man.

The puppy is outside and happy to be enjoying a 65 degree Ohio day. It’s beautiful out there so that will be my next stop on my day of relaxation. The day didn’t start so relaxing though. I tried to fix a door knob on our closet and, to put it lightly, by the time I was “done” I was ready to throw the entire door out the window. Whoever designed these cheap damn handles should be beaten. Maybe it’s me, but I’m blaming it on them. The screws were stripped so I was finally forced to hacksaw one of them off to get the handle off of the door. I also subsequently sawed off the paint on part of the door. Yes, I know, it’s me. But after some vulgarity and some touch up paint, everything is OK again.

I just figured I’d share. If you get a chance to take a day by yourself to relax or to be with your loved ones, do it. And if you need to replace a closet door handle on that day, choose another day when  you are already frustrated. And as for those brackets, when Syracuse wins it all, I’ll be redeemed…

Talk to you all later.

Just Give Us the Trophy Now March 16, 2010

It’s the most wonderful time of the year … after the NFL season at least. March Madness is here and I’m pumped. I’ll be off this Friday to watch games and cheer for the underdogs (even if they blow up my brackets.) I just play them for fun of course.

This is also time when we can start talking NFL again (come on, it’s been over a month.) The discussions have already begun on the NFL draft being held in April, which means all teams are officially 0-0 again. Despite the alleged transgressions of our star QB, Mr. Roethlisberger, I think the Steelers are already a favorite to win it all this season. (Before I go any further, if you read my “About” section, you know that I refer to “we” when referring to the team, so deal with it.) Anyway, Larry Foote and Randle El both re-signed for three years, and we also picked up a good possession receiver in Arnaz Battle, not to mention some much-needed help in the secondary with Will Allen.

Meanwhile, our friends in Cleveland have ended their Brady vs. Anderson controversy by chucking both of them out the window and handing the keys to a guy who is coming off the worst year of his career. Don’t get me wrong, I actually like Jake Delhomme, but come on. This is the answer that Holmgren came up with? I do wish both of them well as a competitive Browns team is more fun than what we’ve seen since they’ve come back.  The Browns’ victory over an underachieving Steelers team a few months back did breathe some life back into this rivalry, but I think it was a fluke. (If you are one of those delusional Browns fans who think you are on the way to the Lombardi, drop me a comment.)

So I’m going on record tonight. The Steelers will go 12-4  next year and will return to the Super Bowl if Roethlisberger is available, which I think he will be. Even if he isn’t, Dennis Dixon or a veteran QB could get us into the playoffs. Mark it down, put money on it or put it in the bank, whatever you’d like. Of course I predicted 12-4 last season too, but who’s counting? 

That’s it for tonight NFL fans. I’m off to watch the NFL Network. These “NFL’s Greatest Games” are awesome. I watched Troy Aikman, Emmitt Smith and the Cowboys versus Steve Young, Jerry Rice and the 49ers last week. John Madden and Pat Summerall had the call. It was great. And this “Total Access” show is simply awesome for NFL junkie like me.  Thank you DirectTV for delivering more joy to my TV watching experience. 

Talk to you all later …

We Need More of Those Signs… March 12, 2010

So I played basketball tonight at a local elementary school. No, I wasn’t hooping on third graders so back off. It’s a group of guys who rent out the gym every Thursday night. This week I noticed as I was walking in that above the door in giant letters it read, GYM. How simple is that? If you visit this school and the door to the gym was closed you’d have no problem knowing exactly what was behind those doors.

What’s my point? Wouldn’t it be great if other parts of our life worked like this? For example, when you met someone new, such as a new co-worker, wouldn’t it be great if a word or phrase appeared above their heads so you knew what you were dealing with. It could be simple like, “Jackass” with an arrow pointing down to someone or “Hypocrite”, perhaps “Brown Noser.”  It could be positive too like, “Big Heart and Selfless” or “Insecure but a Hard Worker.” Before you even spoke a word you’d get a feel for what’s behind those doors.

OK, come to think of it. This idea stinks. I’d rather form my own opinions of others based on my interactions with them , not based on others’ opinions of them. Forget I said anything — my apologies for wasting whatever time it took you to read this. Talk to you all later…